I’ve set a goal for myself. To be happy. It seems like something so simple, but its so hard and I’m trying so hard to enjoy these things in life. I’m afraid if I achieve this and summer comes around and is gone, that I’ll lose that. My biggest fear is being alone and abandoned. I’m gonna feel that way next year. I almost am mad at myself that I’m taking a year off. But with what I’m dealing with in life right now its almost like I have to. If you’ve read my past posts and how difficult my life has been with ADD then you’d understand. I’m gonna feel alone because I’m not sure what’s gonna happen. I don’t know if I’ll have the luxury of being able to drive like everyone else. People don’t understand why I don’t have my lisence yet but like you don’t understand. With a learning disability its not that easy. I forget every fucking thing I learn and I’ve felt like a burden to my family because they’ve already spent so much money trying to get me to be able to drive with private driving lessons and everything and I just feel bad about it. Think about having no one to spend time with when you can’t drive and your best friends are all away at school. It has to be lonely there isnt any way around that. I don’t know if I’m gonna get used to this change but I have to adjust and tell myself suck it up shea everything will be okay. But thats the thing- I can tell myself that all I want but I know it wont be “okay”. I just need a quick fix in my life and whatever that might be, I’m ready for it. Come at me.